Sisters Say The Darndest Things

My sister has a knack for saying pretty ridiculous, albeit it hilarious stuff. You may recall her "apples are the new strawberries" comment (see: this post).

When she recently renewed her ID (hooray for being legal!) she came home and recounted her trials and tribulations at the Department of Motor Vehicles. Though the DMV is always a real-life sociological experiment, her anecdotes were funnier than most. Without going into all of the nonsensical details, some "flipping gross" guy attempted to chat her up for the better part of an hour, bragging about his cash flow (which sis was convinced was a lie). The climax of her story was this line: "And all I could think was 'Why does this guy think he can talk to me?'"

Last weekend the gang reunited for our college Homecoming. It was glorious. My sister, a senior there, spent the better part of the evening hanging out with my friends. When I had to make the rounds at another location, I left her with my pal Paul. Though they've hung out before, they've never really had each other's undivided attention. Chivalrous Paul decided to treat the little sis to a snack and as they waited in the jam-packed bagel shop, Nicole plopped herself down in the only empty seat in the joint. Another girl sitting across from her at the table pointed out that the chair my sister occupied was for a friend. Hilarity ensued.

"Oh, I didn't know there was assigned seating. Is this her assigned seat? I thought it was seat yourself. I did not know this seat had already been assigned."

It was only after witnessing this comment in the flesh that Paul finally believed all of the stories I have been telling him for the past seven years.

Sometimes I find a little Nicole in me when walking though crowds. When I can't get the attention of someone I need to squeeze by, I find myself muttering "excuse you," as simply and matter-of-factly as if I had actually been saying "excuse me." It really is refreshing. You might try it.